To be like the Salt in the Sea
by Hojin Kim

"Hey bread-boy, goes to school store, and brings some bread here." One guy said,

"I don’t have money." MJ replied.

"That’s your problem, go bring bread or I will beat you"

They started to hit him until he said he is going. This was kind of lucky days for MJ they didn’t bother him a lot if he gave them bread. On bad days when he couldn’t buy them bread, he had to be human sandbag for the day, they played wrestling game and If MJ tried to fight back the five guys attacked him at once and beat him. There were five boys in my class who had bullied MJ since the beginning of the year.

I had watched this for several months. There was no reason that I need to care about this. I am not a trouble maker, and I just wanted to be normal guy, so I tried to ignore MJ’s problem. However I couldn’t just ignore it as others did. Because inside my head there were two guys argued with each other about this.

The one guy, I call him Mr. White like white color, he was pure and clean, he was the one holding my rightness, justice, and sense of values. He made me feel guilty when I saw MJ’s problem as an on looker and he was telling me that "Hey help MJ out he is your friend. You learned to help people when they are in trouble. Your parents, teachers did teach you in that way. Like 3% of salt in the sea keeps the sea from rotting you got to be the like the salt for the society. If you don’t help him out, even if you made a 100 on moral class you are hypocrite. If you know what is right and you don’t practice it, you are worse than them."

The other guy was Mr. Black, he was too affected by the world that I belong; he lost his whiteness because he had to adjust himself to the world. He said "Hey, don’t be stupid, that is his problem not yours. Don’t care about the other’s problem no matter what they are. It just makes you tired. What will you get from helping people? That is not your business just stay away from it like everybody does. Your problem is first priority you need to know this."

This argument inside my head happened every time when MJ got beaten by the five boys. In every case Mr. Black won. I thought he is right. The world that I belong is losing traditional sense of values. Now for the many people the money had become only motivation when they do something. I mean they only work for their self-interest. The traditional sense of values like morality, love, and helping each other were no longer important for them. We can see those things easily on the news which tells the indifference among neighbors and sometimes people kill each other for the money.

One day I had trouble with my friend. It was a little argument. Suddenly a lot of students gathered around us, yelling at us to fight. I didn’t want to fight him but no one was trying to prevent to fighting but they were inciting us to fight. I felt sad and sick of the trend of society. The world shouldn’t be like this. I could feel how MJ felt every time he got beaten.

After this happening, when I saw MJ’s problem, I thought if I just ignore MJ’ problem, it makes me same person as the on lookers.

After couple of days, five boys were beating MJ so badly. My brain was completely controlled by Mr. White; I did what he told me to do. I said,

"Hey stop bothering him"

I can’t remember exactly what happened to me after I said this, but I remember I was in middle of fighting; they hit me a lot until my close friends stop them. However I don’t regret what I did, actually I felt fulfill from what I did and I could get away from feeling guilty that Mr. White gave.

Now my brain is controlled by Mr. Black, I become selfish in most case, I think of my self-interest first when I do something. I had to let Mr. Black control my mind to live in this world. I don’t want to be different; I don’t want to make any troubles and I have my own business to carry on.

However I think since Mr. White is still exist, he will come out and control over my head when I am really supposed to be, like I helped MJ. Mr. White will prove that I still have my own sense of values. In order to help people I need ability. I have to be able to take care of my own problem first then I can truly help the others. Sometimes I might need courage or the otherthings it could be money, power etc. I have to learn and study and be strong for that. So I want to be the first one who is incapable of helping people out when they have trouble.

That would be only way that I can be better person than the on lookers, I can be 3% of salt keeps the sea clean.