Sometimes, I feel tons of pressure of the whole world. Why am I here? I feel a pressure of time. We have only 24 hours per a day. Only 30 or 31 days per a month, only 12 months per a year, and I will die in about 60 years! I feel a pressure of future. What will I be? What job will I have? Will I able to earn much money? Or Will I be just a poor person and be a loser of life? I feel a pressure of school. Oh, I have Western Civ. Test, Pre-Cal test and English Vocabulary quiz. Will I make 100 on the tests? What if I don’t? How about my SAT scores? I feel a pressure of people. Does people like me or hate me? Am I a good person for everybody?

In the world, there are so many things that press my neck, the pressures that make me tired and exhausted. But also, there are people who make me forget the painful things and make me happy and free.

On December 24, 1992, at night, my brother and I prepared some cookies and chocolates on the plate with a brown stuffed bear, wearing Santa Claus’s red coat in living room.

"Jaeyup, will he really come?" I asked to my brother.

"I don’t know. But I hope he will come!" he said.

My father was standing behind us, watching us.

"Daddy, Will Santa Claus visit our house and give us a present?" we asked.

"Well, I can’t tell because I am not a Santa Claus but if you did many good things then he should come. It is too late. Get ready for bed. I heard that if the children don’t sleep on Christmas Eve, then Santa Claus won’t come."

I was just standing and watching his face in worry.

"Don’t worry. I am sure that he will come." My daddy said with a smile. And I went to bed.

When I woke up on Christmas, My brother and I went to the living room. There were 2 presents foiled by twinkling paper. Also, Santa Claus ate some cookies and chocolate and left a letter for us that said: "Thanks for the cookies. – Santa Claus"

Now, I know who Santa is. He is my father, who tried not to break my innocence and tried to make me happy.

I carry my father’s warm heart.

A housekeeper, a nice 60-year-old woman, has been cooking for our family. When I am sick with a cold, she makes a bowl of soup that helps my cold go away. Once, I watched her warm the bowl over the flames of the stove, which looked weird to me.

I asked her, "Why are you warming the bowl?"

"For your health." she said with a kind smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"If the bowl is cold, then the soup will get cold soon. You need to have warm food for your health."

Her behavior was so kind like mother. She really did worry about me like her grandson. I feel thankful for that.

I carry her beautiful heart.

In a long break of kindergarten, my brother and I usually visited my grandfather. He really loved me and I loved him too. He worked for the German business company located in Seoul. His company was close to the cafeteria of United States army basement in Korea.

One day, my brother and I dreamed of food of the cafeteria. We asked our grandfather to take us to the U.S army’s base to eat.

Because we only eat ordinary Korean food, eating that cafeteria’s food was unique and they had always made us to say ‘Wow’.

They had really good beefsteak, variety of chickens, pastas and many things. But, there was one thing that looked strange and funky to me.

"What is this? Granddaddy?" I asked.

"It is mashed potato." He said.

I couldn’t believe that is a potato. It was not round, it was white, it looked like white sherbet. I couldn’t believe that it looks totally different from French fries but potato.

My grandfather said, "Believe or not, try it. It’s good."

It was. The creamy soft thing was playing around my tongue with good flavor. While I was eating, my grandfather was watching me with smile.

"Why are you watching me like that? It’s kind of shy if someone watch me like that." I said.

"Jaehun, I feel happy when you grow healthy and be a nice person. You know how parents or grandparents think." He said.

"Yes. Sort of." I responded with one eyebrow down.

"Jaehun, be a good, nice and kind person. It is the best goal of your life. To being a successful person is not making a lot of money, having a nice job. To being a successful person is being nice to everybody." He said.

I carry his heart in my heart. Not just a moral, I carry his telling in my heart and try my best to make it.

I have been carrying a lot of pressures, but also, I carry my father’s, housekeeper’s and grandfather’s hearts. These people are jewels of my life. They have given me lovely memories, health, morals, and love. I carry them not just in my brain, but in my heart, heart-to-heart.